the reason i like Girls tv show is that it's the only popular tv show where they don't pretend that their lives are perfect but actually full of shit.
it's important to love living but it's also important to struggle, because it's the only way to keep yourself moving and evolving. I will never believe that anyone did smth (truly) significant by always being satisfied and comforted. so, yeah, it's my conscious decision to not let myself rot this way.
i also appreciate that people get a bit agressive about this stuff i'm saying cuz that means that they hear their inner voice coming from the deep inside of them which they'r trying to sease. i don't judge anyone (well, i really try to not to) and i just hope that there is 0,0000001% chance that my words will help anyone anyhow.
I will always be a troubled person and the truth is that it's my strongest point.
The most recent things I was thinking about are, as usual, the simpliest things and the hardest to understand.
the fact that the person is not defined by its profession. I'm very happy i got to think about this! why not to be a florist who tries to write scripts and to learn how to make beautiful furniture? there are not many people who are chilled enough to not limit themselves.
Been reading Aldous Huxley lately. Great thinker, such a brilliant mind! glad N found out about him. Helped me to undestand many things I was already thinking about before but never got .
Also been thinking/reading/listening about Renata Litvinova. She managed to do the best and smartest thing possible: do her own thing that she likes without being really talanted for anything but being herself lol. She's not a very gifted scrpit writer, director, actress but she's amazing and talented anyways and her doing is art because it tells the truth + inspires people.
I had 1,5 "bad" months because we didn't really had to do anything so I got really desorganised -> demotivated -> tired. I have a hard time orginising my life myself, without any help from the side, yes, GULITY. Doing nothing is absolutely awful and discouraging. But! In the other hand, it was the only time of the year when I could read that much, watch plenty of good movies and research about some stuff. Now I want to write it down, because it's different when it's out. I had enough of this and I actually feel better now
after all, this period of the year is always the toughest for me. Good thing that I didn't have any panic attacks this time (ttt).
Gonna do 5 days of workshop next week, then going to Moscow for a week and I will do my best to finish my side job.
I'm so excited the spring is coming!^^